The Lighter Side of Storm

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redfish
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The Lighter Side of Storm

Post by redfish » Sun Nov 22, 2009 7:46 am

There was a lot of funny things that happened. I guess I'll share this one to start.


We learned how to make wine. As if that's not funny enough, we got good at it. A few key ingredients and you got it. We would at times make some really nasty batches but that was usually because we elaborated on the ingredients. We would do things like have a ceremony with ingredients. Add a cigarette but for the smokes we have. Add some coffee grounds for the long hours.


Be sure to bleed the pressure off your container... Do I need to say more?


We always made our wine in those round orange igloo coolers. Well, if you do not let it breathe twice a day, it will explode. It was a learning process. We had a nice batch explode inside a GP medium. It coated the walls, coated the cots and gave two men standing there when it went off PTSD.
Last edited by redfish on Sun Nov 22, 2009 10:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: What was the funniest thing that happened?

Post by redfish » Sun Nov 22, 2009 8:28 am

As you all remember, at times, privacy to take a dump was a problem. I had to go one day. I walked off from our perimeter about a quarter of a mile. Far enough away as to have a little curvature of the earth provide some privacy. I had brought a book and dug a hole. As I was relaxing (the MRE's provided wonderful constipation) I was reading a little. My pants around my ankles mid poop.

Up drives a humvee. Dude looks down at me and says hey man which way is support BN?
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Re: What was the funniest thing that happened?

Post by redfish » Sun Nov 22, 2009 8:50 am

My friend Paul reminded me of this a few weeks ago. I did not personally witness this so I will tell the story second hand.

Background information for those who don't know. When traveling a long distance in a dozer, you go in reverse. It prevents the trans. from overheating.

One of our guys named Wilson (I changed his name) was left out in the middle of Iraq by his lonesome doing who knows what. Spc. "Wilson" looked like "Booger" from revenge of the nerds. Now looking back how dangerous was it being left like that? It gets worse.
After a day or so and thirsty and hungry and alone, my man says the heck with this and hops on his bull dozer (I put the bull on it for dramatization purposes) and takes off heading north. Dangerous enough yet? There's more.

After several hours inside the cab that we had welded 1" steel plates around, he noticed he never had to turn and had a hard time seeing. So............ he climbed up on top of it.


As lady luck would have it, he happens across and area where some of our unit was. All eyes were on him as you could imagine. A bull dozer, going backwards, coming across the Iraqi desert, by itself, in the middle of nowhere, with nobody in the cab and "Booger" on top of it hollering and waving to all his friends.
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Re: The Lighter Side of Storm

Post by redfish » Mon Nov 23, 2009 5:22 pm

Tricky, you remember that dude that had a great big lizard and he made a pet out of it. It disappeared one day and we found out one of the line dogs had made a wallet?

I don't remember the conversation in formation but you started hollering about somebody stop that lizard he has my helmet?
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Re: The Lighter Side of Storm

Post by tricky89 » Mon Nov 23, 2009 7:00 pm

Yea, lol i remember that thing, but i dont know what it was called? very creepy looking creature. Man that whole time was like some big freek show. So many strange things. I also remember the locals coming out and setting up a KFC chicken stand, but i wasnt touching that. We tried one of their burgers at the port that time and i think it was camel, or goat , i dont know, but after that i wouldnt eat anything they had. But i know you remember when we used to cook up those small chickens i bought at that local truck stop or what ever it was. I dont even remember where that was. We went there every 10 days or so. I bought ciggeretts there, flour, and salt and a few other things to cook with. Try to keep up our spirits as best we could with what we had.
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Re: The Lighter Side of Storm

Post by redfish » Mon Nov 23, 2009 7:19 pm

SSG Farmer used to get pissed because I was always looking for a bigger scorpion to have scorpion fights with. Ski and I caught a kangeroo rat and built it a house. I thought I would have a good fight so I put it in with my champion scorpion and that dang rat just ate the scorpion up. Then the rat escaped.

Remember when that damn pigeon just walked into our AO? He just walked around all over the place. Middle of the frikkin' desert 0700 in the morn and up walks a frikkin' pigeon. Then somebody ate him. I was gonna eat him.

Heck yes I remember that nasty chicken you got. Didn't you try to cook it in motor oil one night?
LOL...



Remember all that Top Shelf food they gave us? Lord I still won't eat that stuff now. We first got in country, tent city, they kept giving us those dang brown lettuce bags and said it would not give you the runs. Wagner got constipated and had to go to the doc and they said eat a salad.
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Re: The Lighter Side of Storm

Post by tricky89 » Mon Nov 23, 2009 7:42 pm

NO MAN! that chicken was good! it was the best kept secret! I had bought regular cooking oil locally, and spices. Man it was good! you should have came over to our hole and tried it. It was better than those crappy MRES.LOL, Man that chicken was good! When we moved that was last of the hot food.
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Re: The Lighter Side of Storm

Post by redfish » Mon Nov 23, 2009 8:03 pm

nasty ass chicken. You were just used to eatin' MRE's. Where did Abdul get the chicken? On his chicken farm?


Remember that camel died of ink poisoning? We all wrote names and kilroy was here all over it.


All the mail burnt up. We did not believe that rumor then we got mail burned and black.


Some a-hole kept crappin' in the showers we built.
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Re: The Lighter Side of Storm

Post by redfish » Mon Jul 19, 2010 8:08 am

Haze, Tricky, do y'all remember tent city? Remember being next to the damn porta-potties? We were tasked to keep people from shittin' in the pissers and pissin' in the shitters? It would keep them from over flowing out onto the ground? I remember we would set there and yell at guys going in the wrong ones.

Going to the shower at 3 in the morning? Being dirty by the time you got back.
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Re: The Lighter Side of Storm

Post by FA1SGret » Tue Jul 20, 2010 7:38 pm

We had a guy that got caught crawling into the bottom of the female latrine ... dumb ass!!
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Re: The Lighter Side of Storm

Post by haze » Tue Jul 20, 2010 7:54 pm

redfish, i remember tent city, the porta potties, brown bag, also remember the shower, u was dirty by the time u got back to your ao. remember when we got hot /luk warm showers? if you did"nt hurry u got the usual cold shower.
you was talkin earlier about the hummvee pulling up. before we moved east/ north to prepare to cross the burms, can"t remember where it was now. we was there when the war started. same place that , can"t remember his name now, lost it.
anyway, it was in the afternoon, i had to go bad.... i mean bad, anyway, i decided to drop my gas mask at the track( hated those things). i was probably out 200 yard/250yards, when that damn chemical alarm went off!!!! so, here i was taking a dump, mopp suit, uniform down to my knees/ ankles, an no mask. everybody was hollering at me. later they was laughing me, can"t blame them for that, it was/ is funny. i was sittin there thinkin/shittin this is my f**kin luck.
after that alarm kept going off, i suddenly did"nt have to go any more, i head for the track an my mask. so i"m making my way there, while trying to get my shit back on at the same time, along with all my other gear. i bet that was a site to behold!! funny now... at that time it really sucked.
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Re: The Lighter Side of Storm

Post by haze » Tue Jul 20, 2010 8:16 pm

females???? only time we got to see them was if you went over to support bn. for supplies, maybe see a couple arab women once in awhile , that was it till we"d headed back south.
redfish, tricky, ya remember those women that got caught prostituting ?think they was from supply, not sure heard they made about $5000 each,before they got caught. but u know how the rumor spreads, like the sand. think that was around nov- dec.
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Re: The Lighter Side of Storm

Post by Dagger X-Ray » Tue Jul 20, 2010 9:47 pm

after a month of so in the sand, I coulda tore up a camel at times. Eventually it got easier as we got closer to the scary shit.
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redfish
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Re: The Lighter Side of Storm

Post by redfish » Wed Jul 21, 2010 3:23 pm

The whole division was somewhere in the desert. We were south and east of hafr al batn. Not far though. I remember moving I think to kkmc as the air war started. I know because I was in convoy when everyone got excited that the air war started and we watched the planes go over (about 3 am). Then a few days later the whole division moved 150 miles north up the Iraqi border about half way to Jordan. We were there 2 weeks and the ground war started. While on the border is when were playing with the Iraqis down range and messin' up their nice burms.
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Re: The Lighter Side of Storm

Post by haze » Wed Jul 21, 2010 6:30 pm

thanks redfish for the infro. i was on guard duty, when the planes started flying over, it was around 3 a.m. them sure was some pretty burms they had :roll: . i remember we did a night recon the nite before we crossed. went with the scouts, a few tanks, bradleys. an one engr. m113a2 track. ran into light fire, exchanged a few shots, then called in the mlrs vehicles and headedback fast, since they"d was launching like 5- 10 min it seemed.i just remember that we turned around, an hauled ass back so we won"t get hit by our own fire.we was probably about 3000 meters out when they started lighting their asses up. remember stopping an watching those rounds go off.almost felt sorry for those on the recieving end ....that lasted about 3 secs. then it was f**k them, killl them all. that was my mind set till the end. gotta love those mrls guys, they tore shit up!!! :mrgreen:
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