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 Post subject: Re: Basrah Highway.
PostPosted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 11:36 am 
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Good Soldiers Never Die
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Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2009 6:36 pm
Posts: 1009
Location: North Carolina
Your Gulf War Unit: 24th Infantry Division, 197th Infantry Brigage, 72 Engr Co.
It was off the road a ways wasn't it?

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Assault and Barrier Pltn
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 Post subject: Re: Basrah Highway.
PostPosted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 10:43 pm 
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Joined: Sun Feb 07, 2010 4:53 pm
Posts: 418
Location: ky,
Your Gulf War Unit: 72nd. ENGR. CO. 197TH INF. BDE. 24TH INF
maybe 20 meters give or take...we was dismounted for abit....nobody around but us and the dead.....

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197th. INF. BDE(m)(s)
24th. INF.DIV
18th AIRBORNE CORPS
SAPPERS FORWARD!


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 Post subject: Re: Basrah Highway.
PostPosted: Sat Aug 07, 2010 9:41 am 
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Good Soldiers Never Die
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Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2009 6:36 pm
Posts: 1009
Location: North Carolina
Your Gulf War Unit: 24th Infantry Division, 197th Infantry Brigage, 72 Engr Co.
Eerie feeling. We were on the highway few times without any one else around and it was way quiet and windy and dead bodies everywhere............

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18th Airborne Corps
24th Infantry Division
197th Infantry 72 ENGR CO
Assault and Barrier Pltn
"Sledgehammer"


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 Post subject: Re: Basrah Highway.
PostPosted: Thu Aug 12, 2010 1:42 am 
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Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2010 8:42 pm
Posts: 40
Location: KY
haze and redfish,

Again I am gonna thank you guys for your honest dialogue re your experiences and your feelings. My hubby was near the same places and saw the same hellish scenes that you describe. And I do believe that when the human mind is faced with something so painful, we are forced to accept a new idea of what is real and appropriate to think and feel. Then when we get back to a "normal", it is near impossible to reconform on our own.
When you describe those pix of the "mater" truck driver, I envisioned a group of "barely men" who were so shocked subsonsciously by what you were seeing, that your brains almost wouldn't let you process that it was real. Please don't chastise yourselves for some silly jokes and momentary laughter amid such chaos. That may have kept you or someone close to you from going over the edge.

And a truly wise and compassionate person will never judge you.


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 Post subject: Re: Basrah Highway.
PostPosted: Thu Aug 12, 2010 7:28 am 
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Good Soldiers Never Die
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Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2009 6:36 pm
Posts: 1009
Location: North Carolina
Your Gulf War Unit: 24th Infantry Division, 197th Infantry Brigage, 72 Engr Co.
I know your husband was there. He was 1/18th infantry right? He was around there somewhere that's who I was attached too. Thanx again

_________________
Shield/Storm
18th Airborne Corps
24th Infantry Division
197th Infantry 72 ENGR CO
Assault and Barrier Pltn
"Sledgehammer"


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 Post subject: Re: Basrah Highway.
PostPosted: Thu Aug 12, 2010 9:37 am 
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Lifer
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Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2007 8:41 am
Posts: 874
Location: Missouri
Your Gulf War Unit: 3rd Bn 17th Field Artillery
delta197wife wrote:
And a truly wise and compassionate person will never judge you.


There is a lesson here ... this applies to self judgement as well.

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210th FA Bde
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 Post subject: Re: Basrah Highway.
PostPosted: Thu Aug 12, 2010 9:43 am 
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Good Soldiers Never Die
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Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2009 6:36 pm
Posts: 1009
Location: North Carolina
Your Gulf War Unit: 24th Infantry Division, 197th Infantry Brigage, 72 Engr Co.
Top, if we could do that I think our PTSD would ease up considerably. I've not truly forgiven myself yet. I think that is it for a lot of us. Judged myself into inversion.

_________________
Shield/Storm
18th Airborne Corps
24th Infantry Division
197th Infantry 72 ENGR CO
Assault and Barrier Pltn
"Sledgehammer"


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 Post subject: Re: Basrah Highway.
PostPosted: Thu Aug 12, 2010 9:49 am 
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Lifer
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Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2007 8:41 am
Posts: 874
Location: Missouri
Your Gulf War Unit: 3rd Bn 17th Field Artillery
Yep ... same here ... can't get past the self judgement. Been told many times that I cut others more slack than I cut myself.

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Desert Shield/Desert Storm/Cease Fire
3rd Bn 17th Field Artillery
210th FA Bde
DS (OPCON) 3/2 ACR, GS 1 ID
FIRE MISSION!


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 Post subject: Re: Basrah Highway.
PostPosted: Thu Aug 12, 2010 10:06 am 
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Good Soldiers Never Die
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Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2009 6:36 pm
Posts: 1009
Location: North Carolina
Your Gulf War Unit: 24th Infantry Division, 197th Infantry Brigage, 72 Engr Co.
Yep. When I was in group therapy, that was kinda the common denominator. We all carried that harsh judgement on ourselves but we immediately forgave the others.

_________________
Shield/Storm
18th Airborne Corps
24th Infantry Division
197th Infantry 72 ENGR CO
Assault and Barrier Pltn
"Sledgehammer"


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 Post subject: Re: Basrah Highway.
PostPosted: Thu Aug 12, 2010 6:40 pm 
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Joined: Sun Feb 07, 2010 4:53 pm
Posts: 418
Location: ky,
Your Gulf War Unit: 72nd. ENGR. CO. 197TH INF. BDE. 24TH INF
forgiveness.....not that easy to forgive myself. my wife says that i"m the coldest person thats she"s ever met, when i get upset, angry, which is alot. no feelings at all, feelings would be a weakness, a crack that i can"t handle nobody to see.
i wonder sometimes if i was ever really sit my family, friends down, an told them everthing i did, saw so long ago, what would they think of me, or what goes through my head 24/7 ....wonder what their thoughts would be.... 8O .
i could go on an on.....but, then i realize that , if people like us, do, did, the things that have to be done, so that our family, friends may never know war.........

_________________
72nd. ENGR. CO.
197th. INF. BDE(m)(s)
24th. INF.DIV
18th AIRBORNE CORPS
SAPPERS FORWARD!


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 Post subject: Re: Basrah Highway.
PostPosted: Thu Aug 12, 2010 7:14 pm 
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Recruit
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Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2010 8:42 pm
Posts: 40
Location: KY
haze,

What you have said about sparing your family and friends the pain of war is very admirable, however, if those same people don't know the price that is paid
by their loved ones, they can't help you heal, and the war is never over!!

It was not until my husband shared a few bits and pieces and then I found other info about his experiences that I could try to understand. If you can, let them in a little at a time, and I know it is sooo hard to let your guard down but choose just one person who you deeply trust and confide in them.

And if your wife ever needs to vent, point her in my direction.

God Bless!!
delta197wife


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 Post subject: Re: Basrah Highway.
PostPosted: Thu Aug 12, 2010 7:21 pm 
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Recruit
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Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2010 8:42 pm
Posts: 40
Location: KY
redfish,
Yes, my husband was in your area and talks about seeing the same stuff.


Last edited by delta197wife on Sat Aug 14, 2010 12:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Basrah Highway.
PostPosted: Thu Aug 12, 2010 7:34 pm 
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Good Soldiers Never Die
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Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2009 6:36 pm
Posts: 1009
Location: North Carolina
Your Gulf War Unit: 24th Infantry Division, 197th Infantry Brigage, 72 Engr Co.
My first two wives never knew. My wife now knows everything. She is my biggest ally and she helps. She listens and does'nt judge. But yes haze, my wife says the same things about me. I am at times the meanest ass in the world. No feelings and cold and cruel.

_________________
Shield/Storm
18th Airborne Corps
24th Infantry Division
197th Infantry 72 ENGR CO
Assault and Barrier Pltn
"Sledgehammer"


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 Post subject: Re: Basrah Highway.
PostPosted: Sun Aug 22, 2010 7:54 am 
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Senior Vet

Joined: Sun Feb 07, 2010 4:53 pm
Posts: 418
Location: ky,
Your Gulf War Unit: 72nd. ENGR. CO. 197TH INF. BDE. 24TH INF
wife has told me several times that she a little shook up when i come home from work, afraid that i"ll blow up over nuttin. she tries to distance herself from me for abit, tillshe knows or figures that i"m not going to go off. works....sometimes.
we"re heading to gatlinburg, tenn. labor day weekend, kinda dreading it, hoping that i don"t go off while we"re gone. that"ll be bad.

_________________
72nd. ENGR. CO.
197th. INF. BDE(m)(s)
24th. INF.DIV
18th AIRBORNE CORPS
SAPPERS FORWARD!


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 Post subject: Re: Basrah Highway.
PostPosted: Mon Aug 23, 2010 12:55 am 
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Recruit
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Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2010 8:42 pm
Posts: 40
Location: KY
One thing that helps me is to remember that I am usually not the target or even the catalyst of the rages. When my husband chooses to rant, nowadays I usually just leave the room. He is angry momentarily, but he calms, and begins to think over what set him off. 9 out 0f 10 times it is a work thing or a family problem that he is mulling or stressed about because he doesnt know how to handle it. But sometimes it is something so simple as him skipping a meal and being super hungry.

We have begun to work thru this in different ways. Sometimes I start questioning him about his day, or I just leave him be, depending on whether I have kept my cool or have the patience needed. It is such a rough road but it is worth the trip, if you can make it. We are much closer than we were a few years ago, but we do still have a ways to go.

Just remember guys, that we spouses are not perfect and we also bring our own emotional baggage into the relationship and some days we aren't as patient or loving as we should be but we do love you each and every day. Life just gets in the way sometimes.

Forgiveness and grace are key to marriage, no matter the situation.


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