A Little Help Please

[usmcrandy]

For many years I have watched my general health spiral down hill and start to limit what I can and cannot do. For about the past five years or so unfortunately I have been self medicating to deal with my pain and other ailments. Well back in October of 2008, I think it finally grabbed me to the point where I couldn't get around it or live with it any longer.
I have no medical coverage as I am self-employed and cannot afford the ridiculous prices for health care so I called my local VA hosp in Pittsburgh, Pa. to see if I could be seen. I did a Persian Gulf Registry a long time ago but havent been in the system for quite a while so I had to fill out financial papers and send them in to determine my eligibility I guess before I could be seen. Well Its now February and I am still waiting to be able to set an appt for the VA. In the meantime, I went to my local Dr who has vowed to help me as much as he can with my situation. After talking with him several times and having a full exam from him, he has diagnosed me with something called severe fibromyalga and PTSD. He prescribed me something called Celexa (something for depression I think), Mobic (for joints and muscles I think), Tramadol ( a light pain type pill) and Loricet for more bigger pain.
He had asked me if I was in the system at VA and told him that I sent papers in to determine my financial status and he said he would send his stuff (his diagnosis and meds he prescribed to me I guess) to the VA. Maybe he has worked like this before I am not sure. Anyhow, it was said that these problems may be associated with my service and I should look into it. Well here I am as I punched in Desert Storm and find myself here at this site reading some very interesting posts. I also have seen many other posters saying they have fibromyalga. This has fascinated me that so many others have that also. Does anyone know for sure if this is something from the desert or is it just by chance?!
My fibromyalga is so bad that I would rather sit in my office in my chair where I am most comfortable and piss or shit myself before I would go upstairs to the bathroom to do it on the toilet cause my whole body hurts so much. It has really limited everything I can do and is very depressing. I am not sure how to deal with it anymore. I mean, I am 38 and I feel like I am going down a road that ends with me being crippled and unable to do such things as simple as getting up and down out of my chair.
As far as my work is concerned, I have a commercial cleaning service and I do alot of heavy sweeping and mopping which day by day is more and more of a complete struggle to do. I dont know what I am going to do, I guess I am afraid of all of the unknowns that lie ahead of me.
I guess what I was wanting to ask is just a cpl of questions:
1. Does it get any better? The fibromyalga.
2. What, if anything will help me get around better and less painful?
3. Is this something that will service connect me?
4. If so, what do I have to do to get service connected? What is my first step? How much trouble is it to do this type of stuff?
5. Just because my civilian doc diagnose me does is that good enough for the VA or do they have to diagnose me that way also?
6. What do ppl take for PTSD and does it get any better?
7. Is there any light at the end of this long and exhausting tunnel?

Any and all help in any of these matters would be most appreciated. I apologize for my post being so long but I tried to keep it short as I have prob only touched the tip of the iceberg here. All of my limits are greatly affecting my life and my wife, son and my mothers lives who all care about me dearly. I feel that I am dis-appointing them from just about every angle of life since they all rely on me and its getting harder and harder for me to just deal.
Thanks a great deal again. I really appreciate it sooooooooo much.
Randy

[Dagger X-Ray]

Welcome to the forums brother.

I feel your pain...literally !

Not only do I hurt 24/7 but I was also diagnosed with Depression/PTSD/anxiety disorder (haven't file with VA for comp yet though). Most of this has led me to put on quite a few pounds because I have no desire to move let alone exercise, it hurts way too much. I have my own pharmacy too. I could make some serious $$$ just selling my pain meds if I became desperate enough.

Post your memories and stories, we'd love to see any pics you have from your time in the sandbox too.

[usmcrandy]

Thanks for welcoming me brother. It was nice to see (well not really nice) but at least I now see that other ppl are having some of the same issues that I am. I guess I am not alone in my battle even though it does feel like I am. Its very depressing and de-moralizing to me to know that I dont have the enrgy or desire to move around, this really sux. I am (used to be) a very active person but that has all dwindled away from me leaving me quite miserable and discouraged. I really fear that this road I am on leads to me being crippled and unable to play with my lil boy and do some of the most simple things in life. This has really put a major damper on my life and my wife, son and mothers lives as well. Like I said, its very depressing. Hope to hear more from you.
Semper-Fi
Randy

[Dagger X-Ray]

I am (used to be) a very active person but that has all dwindled away from me leaving me quite miserable and discouraged. I really fear that this road I am on leads to me being crippled and unable to play with my lil boy and do some of the most simple things in life. This has really put a major damper on my life and my wife, son and mothers lives as well. Like I said, its very depressing. Hope to hear more from you.
Semper-Fi
Randy

I undestand completely, I have a 4 yr old son and a 6 yr od daughter. The only real play I get with them is on the floor or on the bed playing "tickle monster", I can't run around the yard with them, I can't chase after them, theres not going to be any teaching my son how to play football or baseball and so on...and I almost tear up when I think about how he might look at me when I say NO the first time he asks.

HooAh

[usmcrandy]

Well, This past Monday, April8,2009, I finally met my PCP and she said she is going to keep all my current meds with the exception of my Loricets and Vicodins because apparently, they have that I take about 20 to 30 Loricets a day and am now considered an oppiate addict and my PCP claims that the VA will NOT keep feeding an addiction which I curwntly have with my Loricets and will not prescribe them to me. What a bitch. huh?!?! I am NOT trying to be a loricet junkie, just trying to be a person who leads a normal life with NO pain and able to get along and move along like a normal person. Nonetheless, I am nowhere near happy with this decision. Must be easy to have someone in extremee pain and tell them NO pain meds cuz they think your an addict. Maybe if I was moved up to something stronger a long time ago, I wouldnt NEED to try to take that many Loricets in a day. I am quite MISERABLE and PISSED OFF. Now I have to go to the wonderful world of pain management to see what the hell happens now. I dont feel that I am asking for much but just an opportunity to live a regualr life like getting outta bed and doing what it is that I used to be able to before all of this fibro stuff starting getting ahold of me. Her (my PCP) is telling me to get out and exercise when they obviously dont understand that this disease pretty much keeps you debilitated and completely unable to want to to ANY kind of activity including walking to the damn bathroom let alone do exercise. Needless to say, I am pretty discouraged and pissed off. Anyone have any suggestions?????? I was hoping they would bump me up to something higher than my Loricets so that I wouldnt take as many of them and get back under control of how many pain pills I should be taking instead of going backwards. Any help would be GREATLY APPRECIATED!!!! Thanks and Semper-Fi

[usmcrandy]

I was able to get my Initial meeting with my VA psychologist today and I am not really sure how that went. I have to go back for somethin called a PTSD IE and alsio another appointment for Medications. I really have no idea what either one of these appts are for but I guess I will find out soon enough. My PTSD-IE is scheduled for 5/4/09 and my medications appointment is schedlued for 4/23/09.

I will keep you guys posted as to what these appts are for and what is done. Till Then
Semper-Fi
Randy

[Dagger X-Ray]

Well, as I said in another post I hurt 24/7 but I have learned to cope with it. I have hurt for so long now that I don't depend on the meds anymore because I am so used to it that I block much of it out.

Now when I get up in the morning, thats a different story. I feel as if I was beat from head to toe. Exercise? What is that? I haven't exercised in years because I hurt so much. My weight shows it too. I even managed to get an office job so I could sit yet still bring home a decent paycheck. The only pain meds I still take are for when I get my ear infections (service connected too) or when my left knee starts acting up, they don't usually do much more than simply taking the edge off the pain and thats it.

[tricky89]

It sounds strange when you hear other people going thru the same things. Some of my family members just go crazy when they here it. Almost thinking i fake it. Why do so many civillians wave the flag, then when a vet suffers, they call you a winer?

[Dagger X-Ray]

My wife reacts that way when I come home from the Doc and tell her my newest problem or after I read something and it triggers a "hey, thats what I got or how I feel". Its more of a "Gee, what now" thing.

She actually laughed when I told her I was looking into buying" my 4 yrs of military time and putting it towards my Florida Retirement and would be able to retire in 6 years since I now have 10 where I work. God forbid I actually get approved for disability through the VA, I can only imagine what she will say then.

[FA1SGret]

I gotta say that retirement makes dealing with the constant pain and such a whole lot easier. I do what I can, when I can, for however long I can. I don't have to hurry, so most of the external stress is removed.

I still have problems, but I can concentrate my limited physical, mental, and emotional resources on coping with my problems and not coping with external stressors.

Good luck to ya on your retirement plans.

Good luck with the VA as well, but that's a whole 'nother problem.