what happed when you got back?

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txhis
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Posts: 13
Joined: Sun Aug 10, 2003 4:21 pm
Your Gulf War Unit: 82nd Airborne
Location: Dallas, TX

Re: what happed when you got back?

Post by txhis » Sat Feb 28, 2009 7:17 pm

What I remember..................................

Arrived Ft. Bragg and had welcome from wife.

First thing I did when I walked into my home was to pull the phone out of the wall....See, it had a particular ring to it. A ring that I recalled while I was deployed and was the last thing I remembered hearing as I was called out at 2200. I had so much anger and it built up so much that I didn't realize how it affected my wife. She was scared out of her wit.

Couple years later after PLDC, I reenlisted-went to Panama with my wife and 6 month old daughter. Thinking that I could run away from my problems. Nope, things got worse and we ended up separating, I sent them back to the states and I ended up serving the remainer of my tour in Panama alone.

Returned home to divorce and find that my daughter didn't even remember me.

Took years to get to the point that I could talk about my experiences.

Left Army after 10 years (yep, I also was half-way there, but was going to go back to Ft. Bragg)

Been to counseling with the VA, remarried (now at 10 years) and still dealing with my own mind

Good to see you all here and read similar stories

Here's to you - HOOAH!
82nd ABN Division
Desert Storm Veteran

Republic of Panama
San Antonio, TX

"There are some who've forgotten why we have a military. It's not to promote war; it's to be prepared for peace." -Ronald Reagan
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redfish
Good Soldiers Never Die
Posts: 1009
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2009 7:36 pm
Your Gulf War Unit: 24th Infantry Division, 197th Infantry Brigage, 72 Engr Co.
Location: North Carolina

Re: what happed when you got back?

Post by redfish » Sun Nov 22, 2009 9:42 pm

Well, this is an old topic to yall but a new on to me so since it seems I'm the only one in here, I'll entertain myself. {Throwing on some "In The Still of The Night" by Whitesnake}


We flew in to Bangor Maine at about 3 in the morning. 3,000 people were there to welcome us home. We signed t-shirts and stuff like rock stars. Of course me and three other fools found the bar... but that's another story..


Got home. Could not sleep in the dang house. After a few nights, I could sleep with all the doors and windows open but slept little. NIGHTMARE HELL!!! Every where I went FLASHBACK HELL!! I had hallucinations of explosions. No sleep. Hear everything outside and gotta go look. Angry all the time. So... Self medicate.

I stayed drunk pretty much 4 years. Wife didn't give a poo about what I was dealing with. Moved to 4 different states. Stayed drunk. I was trying to kill myself by alcohol poisoning I guess because I was too spineless to blow my brains out. Got a divorce and fortune in child support and a fortune in back taxes. About 20 different jobs. Arrested for numerous things.

Well, the worm turned and the years went by. I started working 10-12 hour shifts and off two to pay the bills. Got married again. Inherited step kids. Got divorced after three years. She told me I did not love any one and had emotion. No shocker there. But, sleepin a little better and doin' a little better.Still moving and numerous jobs.

Insert 5 years somwhere in here.

Finally found the right woman. Re-married moved to North Carolina. Had two kids now 2 1/2 and 9 mos. to go along with my 15 y.o. and 17 y.o. I guess stress and we cut my shifts down to three a week about three months ago.

RAGE!! I tried to kill a guy on a motor cycle because he didn't wait his turn at a stop sign. Throwing stuff again. Scared myself. Confrontational!! CRAP FLASHBACKIN'!! I started hearing a little girls voice and gun fire. Seeing bodies roadside again when its only trash or leaves. More easily startled again. Felt homicidal. Back to the VA. First time was in '93 that was a joke. Then in '95. They gave me Xanax. That was a joke. This time better.

It's been two months and I'm getting counseling and two meds. My wife LISTENS!!! and.........SHE CARES ! First month was a B&$#!$ had to up my meds. Picked a fight at work and got suicidal. Got a certified letter from work says due to violence needed a release. Got it now and will start back this next week. Now the new fight will be C&P. I have a 0% rating for scar tissue now but here we go on the PTSD.

But, as I have heard on here, I could be back in a hole in the sand playin' with my scorpion listening to the chemical detectors screech.

{ Changing the song on the juke box to "Here I Go Again On My Own" }
Shield/Storm
18th Airborne Corps
24th Infantry Division
197th Infantry 72 ENGR CO
Assault and Barrier Pltn
"Sledgehammer"
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ChrisM106
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Joined: Sat Feb 20, 2010 10:13 pm
Your Gulf War Unit: 2/504 PIR, 82nd ABN DIV

Re: what happed when you got back?

Post by ChrisM106 » Sat Feb 20, 2010 10:21 pm

I've been on deployments both before and after Desert Storm. After about a day its like I never left. I returned on emergency leave about two weeks before my unit did. I flew out on a C5 to Torrejon, then on to Delaware. From there I flew a civilian flight to Fayetteville, NC. There were several of us on the flight and the pilot publically thanked us and we received some applause from the other passengers.
Desert Storm did change my life in one significant way. I met a young lady about a month prior to deploying. We wrote back and forth for seven months (remember, this is before email and I had only one phone call). She was still there when I got back. I ended up marrying her and we now have three children.
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Redmaxx
Good Soldiers Never Die
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Joined: Sun Jan 14, 2007 10:00 pm
Your Gulf War Unit: B Co. 7/159 Avn. Regt.
Location: Livonia, MI
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Re: what happed when you got back?

Post by Redmaxx » Mon Feb 22, 2010 9:44 am

Awsome story Chris. Congrats and Welcome Home.
B Co. 7/159 Avn. Regt.
SSR Platoon
Operation Desert Shield/Storm/Cease Fire 1990/1991
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Dagger X-Ray
Good Soldiers Never Die
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 1:35 pm
Your Gulf War Unit: 2nd Brigade 1st Infantry Division
Location: Central Florida
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Re: what happed when you got back?

Post by Dagger X-Ray » Mon Feb 22, 2010 3:17 pm

Awesome
Dagger X-Ray - ARMY
(12/91 - present) - miss the service
(9/90 - 12/91) 2nd Bde 1st Infantry Division - Desert Shield / Desert Storm Combat VET
(9/88 - 9/90) C-17th Signal Battalion of 22nd Signal Brigade - Sachsenhausen Bar Scene VET
(4/88 - 9/88) AIT Fort Gordon, Ga
(12/87 - 3/88) Basic Training Fort Jackson, SC
"People sleep peacefully in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."
-George Orwell
"I am a soldier, I fight where I am told, and I win where I fight."
- General George Patton
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FA1SGret
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Your Gulf War Unit: 3rd Bn 17th Field Artillery
Location: Missouri

Re: what happed when you got back?

Post by FA1SGret » Tue Feb 23, 2010 5:59 am

Thank you for your service and the best of wishes to you and yours.
Desert Shield/Desert Storm/Cease Fire
3rd Bn 17th Field Artillery
210th FA Bde
DS (OPCON) 3/2 ACR, GS 1 ID
FIRE MISSION!
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redfish
Good Soldiers Never Die
Posts: 1009
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2009 7:36 pm
Your Gulf War Unit: 24th Infantry Division, 197th Infantry Brigage, 72 Engr Co.
Location: North Carolina

Re: what happed when you got back?

Post by redfish » Wed Jan 19, 2011 7:02 am

I remember driving down I-85 coming back into Ft. Benning and seeing the bridge over an over pass explode behind me and freaking out in the car which scared the $&*! out of my now ex wife. Hey, it was my very first flashback.
Last edited by redfish on Wed Jan 19, 2011 2:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Shield/Storm
18th Airborne Corps
24th Infantry Division
197th Infantry 72 ENGR CO
Assault and Barrier Pltn
"Sledgehammer"
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sgt Jake
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Posts: 59
Joined: Wed Dec 29, 2010 5:49 pm
Your Gulf War Unit: Eagle Troop 3ACR

Re: what happed when you got back?

Post by sgt Jake » Wed Jan 19, 2011 12:40 pm

I never came home, the spent casing of what I once was made it back....... but I can never go back to what once was. that person just doesnt exist anymore and even if I could remember, I dont think I could be that person. I know my family misses that person, but I cant do anything about that.
War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.
- J o h n S t e w a r t M i l l
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redfish
Good Soldiers Never Die
Posts: 1009
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2009 7:36 pm
Your Gulf War Unit: 24th Infantry Division, 197th Infantry Brigage, 72 Engr Co.
Location: North Carolina

Re: what happed when you got back?

Post by redfish » Wed Jan 19, 2011 2:19 pm

I feel much the same. My signature even changed. I noticed the other day. Before documents and after. Two different signatures, two different men.
Shield/Storm
18th Airborne Corps
24th Infantry Division
197th Infantry 72 ENGR CO
Assault and Barrier Pltn
"Sledgehammer"
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