just rambling on a bit

[d34gunner]

so how was everyone's weekend? I'm kinda new in here having found this place just a couple of daze ago. reading some of the posts I don't feel so out of place. I mean civilian's just don't seem to understand why I eat 600 mg of Zantac (well, the Wal Mart version) and wash it down with a mouth full of Pepto every night and why I wear those Breath Right strips so I don't stop breathing while I sleep.
last Friday my war trophy turned 19. she was conceived the first week I was back in Wildflecken. so many things I wished I could change the way I done things between then and now. I was an angry little feller for far to long and for reason. the rashes still come and go and still can't seem to concentrate on anything long enough to read a full paragraph but thankfully the nightmares are far and few between now. for me, the nightmares, mood swings from hell, most of the paranoia, and all the other fun stuff began to slow down for me about 7 years ago when I bought my bike. much stress relief with my knees in the breeze and wind in my face. I hooked with the Legion Riders and VFWMG and that seemed like a turning point...sorta like a light helping me outta that hole, ya know? ain't made it all the way out but gettin' there...everyone keeps telling me I need to go to the VA and get rated so I can get paid. they tell me I earned it, it's my right to draw disability, the VA owes me and all that does is make me dig my heels in deeper. looking back I know I shouldda made an appointment with Mental Health 20 years ago but ya'll know how it is, suck it up and drive on solider, just deal with it. I feel like my wife deserves some kind of medal for not taking a 12" iron skillet to me while I slept way back when. I know most normal women would have but she has been right there with me for 23 yeas now and I am one lucky guy. sorry about ramblin' on but it feels good, ya know? I only fired 3 main gun rounds and about 30 seconds worth of coax that night but you just ain't supposed to enjoy it. ain't never told anyone but that night I actually became physically aroused so much I damn near exploded myself. watched a partner pop a RG fuel truck that night. it went in slow motion, I mean I swear I saw the metal suck in and seem to implode before it ripped open and then white wash my thermals. there were like 2 or 3 ground troops standing next to the truck before he squeezed off that round. that wasn't supposed to be funny but laughed my butt off. I still love to shoot but I haven't been hunting in well over 20 years. I'm done killing. you could hear the anti-personal mines pop as we rolled through the mine field. my TC froze during our engagement and my radio switch didn't work so my driver was sending up sit reps to company level as my loader spotted targets. the 3 of us picked up and pulled it together. a few weeks later I asked him if he was ok and he asked me if I realized those people had families...I so wanted to slap the shit out of him. I didn't tell my guys what he told me, just different people deal with thing differently. I did tell the LT what my TC told me and what happened that night and he needed to go away. by shear luck, the next week he was sent back to Wildflecken as his step mother passed away. I was glad to see him go. you could have cut the tension in the air with a knife.
this is the first time I have ever put into words what is on my mind. feels good, ya know?
well it's late and I've rambled on way to long so I'm gonna get outta here for now.
ya'll take care

Sgt Roy Q. Williams
D 4/34 Aromr (Dco 1/68 AR)

[haze]

gunner,
here on this site, its allways good to vent, ramble on, or just plain talk about the weather if you want, etc. the important thang is you are here.
it took me almost almost 20 yrs to vent even a little, i've done more since finding this site now. filed finally with the va last sept.
welcome brother.....and remember here, with us vent, ramble all you want.

[Dagger X-Ray]

Exactly, ramble on

[redfish]

Love the stories from the desert. Enjoy hearing about how ya been since. Please ramble. All of us have and do.

[Gunbunny]

Happy Memorial day! I'm scheduled to work this day! Have a wonderful day.